Remembering Faith

One year ago today we had our first homestudy visit. After all the research of agencies and countries...it officially began. We were fortunate how quickly everything moved for us from that point. Homestudy to baby in six months is unheard of! When I think back now it seems SO far away.


One year ago yesterday Baby Faith was born. I thought about her a lot yesterday. She has not been forgotten in our home. I wondered if I was the only one who remembered her yesterday. I wondered if her birth mom did. I wondered if her birth mom thought she was in an orphanage toddling around. Or in America with a new a family. I wonder if her birth mom wonders anything about her. I don't know and never will.

Sometimes when I look at Maeve and think of how could we ever not have her in our lives, I think about Faith. I think about how things might be different. I feel sad that we never got the chance to hold her. I feel scared thinking of Maeve with another family! Many of the other families that we shared our journey with from our agency celebrated 1st birthdays this month. We were all referred babies in Sept/Oct. It seems strange thinking that we too were to be celebrating a birthday this month.

Many families when adopting seem to want to find some kind of "connection"... a sign that things were meant to be. I am no different. When we received our referral of Faith I was in amazement how she was born the day before our first step (homestudy). That we began our journey at the same time she began her life. And eventually our paths were meant to cross. I guess I still believe our paths were meant to cross.

Then we received Maeve's referral. Born on 1/1. Conceived early April 2006? The same time Pat and I decided to explore adoption. It was meant to be! (I am mocking myself :)

Meant to be or paper work being pushed around....we got a wonderful little girl. We also had a reality check. That not all babies in orphanages live to be held in the loving arms of a family. That in 2007 there are still babies dying all alone in an orphanage in Vietnam. Despite that, there is a line 2 years long of families waiting to adopt from China. Or longer for "white" babies from the U.S. Or people who go through years and years of infertility to have their "own".
hmmmm--ask Pat, Orla, Declan and I and we will tell you that Maeve is most definately OURS. She is no less mine and Pat's child than Declan or Orla. And Faith will also always be ours. If only in our hearts.

I talked to Pat about going back to adopt another child. He thinks 3 kids is enough for us. He is probably right. But I feel like I want to give a home to just one more. But that wouldn't be enough. No matter what I can't adopt all the children in this world that need homes! So now I feel the need to "promote" adoption to anyone who will listen....or make pretend they are. The Social Worker and I spoke about this at a follow up visit. She said she also feels that if just every family who could (financially, emotionally...etc...) would adopt one child it would be a great difference. Whether it be a child in foster care or from another country. No, we can't each change the world on our own, but we can change the world of one child.

The Starfish Difference

While walking along a beach, an elderly gentleman saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water.

He came closer still and called out, "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

The old man smiled, and said, "I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the elderly observer commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish, threw it back into the ocean past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."