Surreal

Still waiting on the 171H. Yep, we are still waiting on this coveted piece of paper. I have heard that it really does exist...but I won't believe it until I see it.

Our SW spoke with CIS last Wednesday (2/14) and they said that they would process it on Thursday. I am REALLY hoping that they did process it and we receive it Tuesday or Wednesday. Waiting for this makes us feel stuck. And we have been stuck here for too long and it has not been a "happy place" for us.

Adoption is a surreal process. (I have 2 biological children and know that pregnancy is too.) You have this feeling that it won't REALLY happen. Even when you get that picture and information, it is exciting, and does make it seem slightly more real...but like the 171H, will ACTUALLY EVER HAPPEN? Losing Faith, (how eerily metaphoric that sounds), makes it seem even more surreal.

Our friends are having a shower for us in 2 weeks. We are so thankful to have such wonderful people in our lives. It has been more than 10 years since Declan was born and we had a shower...so we really need to start anew again with baby stuff. Did you know that baby stuff "expires"?! Anyhow, wouldn't you know that the invitations for the shower went out only day before receiving the news of Faith's passing. Pat and I talked about it and decided to go on with the shower as we will be accepting another referral and will be still needing baby stuff. As we have found, this is surreal to everyone...as most people have assumed the shower is cancelled. Apparently they too don't believe we will ever bring home a baby. I feel like everyone thinks we are making this up. After all, I have no swollen belly to show. (ok...but that is just my own fat!) I have no weekly Dr. Appts to go to. I have no baby kicks for people to feel....

Will it ever be real?