Update

I feel like I should update this as I see a lot of people are checking it. But to be honest, I just don't know what to say.

However, I want to thank the many many many of you that have contacted us with your comforting words and prayers. Or those that just offered a hug. I cannot even begin to tell you just HOW TRULY TOUCHED we are. I am amazed.

I did not know that when we received a referral (pic and info on our specific baby) that I/we would so instantly feel so connected to that little being. Faith so quickly became a huge part of our family. She is truly a daughter and sister that we had not met. I was so concerned that she left this world not knowing how much we loved her. Yet, Orla after crying for a little bit told Pat and I this: "We never got to tell Faith how much we loved her, but she knew. And now that she is in Heaven, she knows who her family is. And we can still talk about her so she knows how much we love her." Orla is always amazing me with her empathy and love that she gives, but this just seemed so obvious to her. Funny, how as adults we needed her to tell us this.
I also would not have believed just how heartbreaking and devastated we would feel to lose our little Faith. Not only for ourselves. But for her too. It is just incomprehensible as to why a sweet little baby must die. We are trying to remind ourselves as to why we chose the name Faith: Our Faith in God's plan. But we are only human, we feel frustrated and upset...and we would like a clue as to what that plan is. However, I guess we can only follow the path that we have set before us.


Many have asked if we will receive another referral. Yes. Our agency already has a child in mind for us. We think it is best to try to wait for our 171H...that last piece of paper we were waiting on to file our dossier. Yes, we are still waiting for that. That 171H is just adding more frustration and stress on top of us. However, I think we need to accept another referral before March 1st, when changes will take place within the referral system. I don't know for sure. We haven't asked yet.

Our agency has been amazingly wonderful through this. Choosing an agency for a VN adoption requires ALOT of research. In the end, though, I felt that we were making a leap of faith, rather than making an educated decision. However, each and every day we have felt that no matter how we got there, we are fortunate. Adoption is not a "business transaction". Unfortunately some agencies look at that way. Some have very little contact with their placement agency. However we have had contact from our agency daily. And since last Thursday, they have really been concerned with our personal well being. Not just one person, but several have contacted us. Many of the agency's families have also been so supportive and touched by what happened to us. And they could honestly be easily consumed by their own worry right now...after all, many babies are still waiting for their families to come. I was and am worried about the concern the families must have now. I can't blame them. But I hate to think that they are so worried.

Well, I guess I was able to find things to say.

Thanks again for all your support and prayers. They are greatly appreciated.